On arrival in Napier, I applied to the Napier Hospital on the western end of Napier Hill to see if there was a job available. Yes! A junior night sister supervisory position. Great, a job and a promotion! I rang up Barbara and told her that I had arrived and was staying in live in accommodation at the nursing home. I would take a taxi over to their home for dinner, chat, a couple of drinks and play with the kids then Russell would drive me back to the nursing home giving me a peak on the cheek as we said goodbye.

Napier was a small country town, and these were my only outings except when Russell and I went to the movies. I don’t know why I had not thought to ask them if I could babysit so Barbara and Russell could go out instead. Maybe because children were foreigners to me at that time, having only nursed a few in the surgical ward and never being in charge of them.

Little did I know that gossip was spreading and one day I was cornered by a woman I vaguely knew from my younger days. She accused me of having an affair with Russell – low and behold I had been painted the other woman! Other than the occasional peck on the cheek mentioned earlier, Russell had once kissed me smack on the lips, that was all and definitely nothing more than friendship. Small town gossip, dear me, this was dreadful.

I had only been back in Napier for four to five weeks, but I packed my bags and resigned. It was the shortest job that I have ever had, except for those couple of sackings when I was straight out of school and had yet to start my nursing career. Before leaving I went to see Barbara to assure her that despite any gossip there was no affair and that I was planning to head to South Africa in the following year with my friend Joan. Of course, she knew that already, but I said farewell to her and Mrs Costello and did not know when I would see them again. Vanished

I went up to Auckland and was welcomed by Joan and her parents. I had to find work again so I could save up enough for the fare to South Africa and for living expenses until I could get a job over there. Joan lived with her parents, and I found accommodation nearby with two girls, Imelda and June, we were to become friendly but not best friends.

I got a job at the private surgical hospital. June was young, shy and had a boyfriend, a man in his mid-thirties who was married with divorce on the cards, possibly. We continued encouraging June to join the social activities, especially the parties so she would join in but once the party was over, she would isolate to her room until her man friend took her out to dinner (a daily event). I never saw him in the flat and she was still there when I returned to Australia. I have no idea of her outcome.

Occasionally Imelda and I would go to public dancing, dancing until we were about to drop then going home in a taxi if not able to get a lift home. One night we met Alan and a friend of his and when we were ready to go, they give us a lift home. Imelda was very specific that any potential friends must have a good ability for scrabble, but Alan’s friend had never played before and therefore was not a worthy companion. Imelda declined his further invitation and that was the end of him. Vanished, but not by me.

Imelda ended up living in Perth for many years working as a ward sister. We continued to write to each other for a while and then I heard that she got married, she would have been about forty. She once told me she didn’t want to have children, whether or not she changed her mind, I don’t know.

Alan had left Warrington to explore the world before he started further education and a career back in England. He had travelled to New Zealand via Australia, spending time in Adelaide although I’m not sure what other cities (definitely not Perth) and was in no hurry to leave New Zealand. We took the boat to Waiheke Island for our first date and then continued to go out to movies, occasional dinners and walks in the park although, funny enough, not so much dancing.

Claude and I continued writing to one another and I still intended to go to South Africa once I had saved up enough. Then Joan told me she was pregnant. She had spoken to her parents and was keeping the child with a support. The father was a married doctor at her workplace, I do not know the ins and outs of the situation but, needless to say, we would not be going to South Africa. That was the blow. I wrote to Claude to explain the situation and that I did not want to travel over by myself. I was also uncomfortable with the unrest we heard of across the country. He wrote asking me to reconsider and that he would help me with the accommodation, but I did not change my mind.

Years later when Alan and I were in Sydney I received a letter from Joan passing on the news that Claude had died, I don’t know how, his friend Peiter only stated that fact and nothing more. I was sitting in a restaurant with Alan when I opened the letter and burst into tears. Alan was concerned and I explained to him that a friend whom I had met Perth had died. He was very reassuring and eventually I put it behind me accepting yet another of the ups and downs of my life which were only making me stronger overall.

I wrote to Claude’s mother offering sympathy from his friends in Australia, but I heard nothing back. I still don’t know how he died but it must have been sudden. There was lots of trouble in Africa at that time… As far as I am aware Joan never heard from Peiter again.

Back to the flat in Auckland. We settled into another routine way of life, it was enjoyable, going out, throwing some fantastic all-night parties but it felt rather without purpose. I did not know what I wanted. Alan had planned to go to the United States next on his way back home to England, but I told him that I was thinking of going back to Australia. Before I could think further about it, he got tickets for us both and over to Sydney we went.

I re-applied to Concord Hospital in August 1968, and stayed in the live-in accommodation again. I later found out that Alan was temporarily in the local YMCA dump which was nowhere near as nice as my accommodation. He eventually got a flat in Burwood as well as a job at ComalCo not far away in Yennora.

Alan and I spent all our time together when we could. We got to know one another, both having baggage from unusual childhoods, learning the no-go areas of each other’s lives. No pushing boundaries just accepting each other for what we were.

Alan’s main interest in life at that time was me and my welfare. Wonderful at long last to have someone completely on my side.

Friendships to me were extremely important but they were often slow to build up, trust having to be earned and not lightly. I learnt to trust Alan implicitly, emphatically. I just knew that I could rely on him. He also had a fabulous English humour that I loved. The fact that we were so very different didn’t come into the equation. He was two years younger than me but more serious, I was a light weight in comparison. Despite that we were basically the same - we fit like hand and glove so when Alan asked me to marry him it did not take long for me to say yes. Loyalty, by both parties, declared.

We were both paupers and now partners planning to travel down a new path together but both unprepared for such an adventure. I personally had had no role models to follow and Alan’s were definitely not desirable. Everything was new and I was about to become a wife… maybe, in future, a mother.

TV family shows were in vogue, so many happy families telling me that I was totally inadequate. I told Alan that I didn’t think that I could become one of them, but he assured me that was not expected.

Heather was still at Concord and so were Pat and Flora, now friends of long-standing. Pat and I renewed our friendship oh so easy. Pat was always Pat, most understanding person ever. Flora appeared to have forgotten our early relationship, so I was willing to let bygones be bygones. My motto having been taught years ago, was to forgive but to be prepared for future onslaughts. None occurred although she would often get annoyed when I would go around the nurse’s accommodation in my bikini carrying my towel instead of wrapping my body. Years later she told me that she held me in great admiration because of my attitude of forgiveness and allowing a friendship to form despite our beginning.

At that time Flora had just broken up a long-term relationship. They had been talking about engagement and marriage when sadly out of the blue he wanted out. Six months later he was engaged to someone else.

Pat was my bridesmaid and Flora asked her brother John to give me away. He also provided and drove the limousine, his job having something to do with cars. Heather was one of our few guests, just ten people all up.

We married on 7th December 1968, at St Joseph’s Church Enmore, it was a Catholic Church, so we had to take religious lessons six to eight weeks before the event. Not that Alan was Catholic, but he was prepared to go through it so we could get to the altar. After that, John drove us by limousine to the very posh restaurant in the city for dinner and a dance. We were still in our wedding outfits so every time we got up to the dancefloor it was ours and we were applauded.

Alan and I left by taxi just before midnight, but the rest stayed on. Pat, Flora and John collected us in the morning so we could catch the train to the Gold Coast, and we were on our honeymoon.

We were having fun doing a variety of activities when suddenly it dawned on me that I was no longer free to go out with the girls to dances, parties etc without first seeking permission. It was the latter part that was the rub, permission. I had been as free as a bird to do what I wanted up until then. I was upset I had become very selfish basically only thinking of myself, that was how unprepared I was for marriage. As I said I was a light weight.

Naturally Alan wanted to know the cause, eventually I told him, and he said hey we’re both in the same boat “I have to ask you for permission as well”. Sorted, easy. I always felt I got the better part of our bargain. Alan got an emotional cripple, that was how I would think about myself. I was not spontaneous with displays of affection. A psychologist would have a field day with me thinking I need to be downloaded and remolded, reprogrammed. Not that I gave anyone the opportunity to do so. We needed every penny we earned!